Today marks seven years since Rob and I tied the knot. Seven years!! Aside from ‘Congratulations!’, there’s another phrase we’ve been hearing when we tell people about our anniversary: ‘The seven year itch!’
Apparently there’s something about seven years in the same situation that makes people suddenly realise they want to change. Just to reassure you all, this is not the case for Rob and I, but I have seen clients who come in wanting to make big changes after being on the same path for a number of years. And sometimes you can see when couples are not on the same page in terms of their goals.
Being an adviser can be a bit like being a marriage counsellor. As part of preparing a plan I have to ask some important questions about where people see themselves in 20+ years. We also have to talk about what they want to happen to their assets and lifestyle if one of them gets sick or injured. For some people it’s the first time they’ve ever asked each other those questions and the answers can come as a bit of a shock.
Which is probably why the seven year itch is a reality for some couples. They go through their day-to-day relationship thinking they’re both heading towards the same goal, but they never ask one another if that goal has shifted or changed.
My goals have certainly evolved over the last seven years. I didn’t have any aspirations to become a financial planner when Rob and I met, let alone plans to open my own business! But what I did have, and continue to have, is open conversations with Rob about what I want to do next. It’s actually really good to have a sounding board for your ideas, especially if they’re completely different from anything you’ve wanted before.
The relationships that I see working the best, among friends and clients, are those where the couple keeps the lines of communication open. Don’t hold back your dreams or goals, or your fears or concerns – you never know, your partner may share them too.
Cheers to many more years together, Rob, and to making changes together!